You're Hungry?

"Hello, my name's Taryn, I'll be-"
"That's great. We're starving."

"We're starving." Oh fantastic. Guests are never hungry. I remember my first time being hungry. Let me get your food out ASAP. Every other table in the restaurant came here because they're full, but you, YOU came here because you're hungry. That's great.You probably haven't eaten since 2pm today and it's now 6:30, dinner time--who knew you'd be hungry.

Then, because you're "so hungry" you start to complain about everything. Why is my silverware dirty? Why is my food cold? Why is our table sticky? Why don't you have the Laker game on? Why is it so cold in here? Why does my margarita taste like sweet and sour?

If you're that hungry, you will just eat. You will just sit down. Shut up. And eat.

But let me see...

Your food is cold because I hate you.
I don't have the Laker game on because I hate you.
It's cold in here because I hate you.
Your table is dirty because I hate you.
And your margarita sucks because I hate you.

Is that what you wanted to hear? I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR NIGHT IS SO HORRIBLE. Every other table in here seems to be having a great night.

I'm your server. I'm not God. Don't ask me questions that I don't know the answers to. But if you rephrase your question, and ask me nicely, I would be more than willing to help you out. I don't have answers, I just have the ability to find solutions. The world is not out to get you. The world actually doesn't even care that you exist.

Maybe it's karma. Maybe you're just a really bad person. Maybe its a personality disorder. Maybe you don't have the ability to ever be satisfied.

There are millions of possibilities. But truth is, I don't care enough about you to go out of my way to make your night horrible. Actually, I WANT you to have a good night because the better night you have, the better night I tend to have.


But if you're polite to me, I may have sympathy on your poor soul and actually want to help you out. It's your choice. My suggestion is don't be rude to the person that is serving your food.